So, we were officially welcomed into the Ethiopia program about a week and a half ago. We should begin building our dossier in the next week along with starting the home study. We are on track to have it turned in at the latest in September. However, as I have learned with Shai, the army and now with adoption, nothing ever goes the way my plan is set up. God has really been teaching me about His timing and plan. One of my favorite verses is "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9. His way is better! I am way more low key about things not going to plan than I was about three years ago when I married Pete. There are things I can control and there are things that are totally out of my control. The good news is, God is in control and that brings some comfort and assurance when things go haywire. So, we are wisely trying to be excited for this direction God is taking us but also knowing that it may not happen the way we want it to but it will happen the way God wants it to.
Many of my good friends have become pregnant with their second children in the last couple of months. I truly could not be more EXCITED but there is a lie that has creeped into my mind that I am trying to fight head on. It has not always been easy to fight off when it creeps up. Since we desire to have another natural child someday, my heart longs for that possible future child as well. I know that this is the direction the Lord wants us to go. Some might not understand but I have a certain peace in my heart when I am walking on this adoption road. I just know this is where He wants us. However, the liar of liars, likes to come in and tell me that I should just wait on adoption and go ahead and try for another birth child. The liar says, "Wouldn't it be nice to have a second child close to Amelia's age, have other babies to play with, hold an infant close within a closer time frame. " Not that those things are bad but I believe they are when I am stepping away from what God is telling us by His desire for us to adopt. Adoption has been a passion for ever. It is time. So even though the desire to have a birth child is NOT wrong, it is wrong when we are disobeying the direction where God desires us now. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
This is going to be a long road and MY plan was to have two natural children and then adopt. Which we do have two precious birth children. I just mean two children that were living on this earth. However this is not God's plan for our family but it WILL be much better and glorious than my plan will be. I just need to trust. Even though it could take up to three years to bring home a child from Ethiopia, God will be with us and give us the abundant strength to hang in there while we wait. Why, because it is His plan and He loves us. When I am worried about Amelia being four or five before she has a sibling, which is a great fear in my heart, God will remind me again that Amelia is His child first and foremost and He is watching over her and her heart. Why because this is His plan and He loves her. When I am FREAKED out at all the possible issues that could come up from a child that is adopted from an institution I will remember that God will provide the love, wisdom, discernment, ability and resources to deal with those as they come. Why because this is His plan for our family and He loves us and this child.
I REALLY am excited to meet our child one day. It is just going to be a long road filled with up hills and down hills. I am learning that is what life is. When you are going on the up hills you are thankful for how they challenge and change you. You are thankful for how God uses them. You cling to Him and become closer. When you are going on the downhills you are grateful for the break, continue to press into Him and comfort, encourage and help those that are on the uphills. So here is to the uphills and downhills of this journey. May God be glorified and Jesus shine bright!!
