Well we officially begin the home study tomorrow. All those weeks of tediously putting together paperwork has come to an end and we will finally get to meet with our social worker. I am excited to be at this point but know that the road is still so much longer. The journey has been sweet thus far and fairly simple compared to some horror stories I have heard but then again we are just at the start. Our child is waiting on us. We are waiting on them. God is preparing both parties hearts to eventually come together as one unique family.
So many have shared how they were nervous for the home study and the thought that maybe they will not be picked as a suitable family for a waiting child. Do not get me wrong, I have had my fears and worries that I have had to lay down at my Father's feet but the home study has not been one of them. I know the Lord has called us to this path and I know He will bring it to fruition. It may not be the way or in the timing I have thought out but I KNOW He will make it so. So, I am not nervous about what the social worker might think. Pete and I have nothing crazy to hide. I trust in the One who has called us to this journey. I look forward to hearing the wisdom our social worker will bring. I look forward to being one step closer to bringing home our next child.
I know the journey of bringing home our child will more than likely not be easy one. I have been ravaging books left and right on adopting the hurt and institutionalized child. There are times those books have frightened me and at the same time have deeply encouraged me. They have brought about realistic expectations in my heart and mind for what the journey will most likely look like. I am deeply grateful for the wisdom God has given these authors and other adopting families. You can not take a child who has walked through hell and back and expect them to be perfect, grateful, wonderful children. They are deeply hurt by the fallen world we live in. They have been neglected, abused, abandoned, or orphaned due to illness or other causes. In some instances there are parents who are so poor that they place their children hoping that they will get a chance to survive because in their current circumstances they will not. What do you say to a parent as they are placing their child in your care because they can not support them. As a mother that has lost a child my heart aches at the thought. Our world is so hurt and broken. I am so grateful that there is hope!! This is not the end. We have been given a Savior who has conquered this world and death! The battle is won and one day He will return. He is alive! When I hear the stories and see the lives of these children who have lived through incomprehensible things, this is the only truth on which I can stand. So no, I no longer have the expectation that this child will run into my arms, tell me they love me and go about with a happy existence. Yes, if I am honest this was my expectation for a while. My friends, books and mentors have told me it will much more look like a scared child slowly walking up to you and crying on your way back to America and for a while after you return. Even though you know you are providing them with a better temporal existence, it is all they have ever known. We will be stripping them from their life and throwing them into ours. What a culture and life shock! They will more than likely be delayed to some extent and patience and grace must abound. It will truly be loving sacrificially because for a while and maybe for the long haul we will receive nothing in return.
Wow! I am starting to grasp more and more the love of Christ for me. He loved me when I could and would not ever give Him anything in return. I was stripped bare from the world and culture I knew and He has loved me patiently and graciously while I learn how to operate in this new world as His child. He has gently wooed my heart and I am so grateful. We have the honor of showing this kind of love to a child in hopes that they will see the One who ultimately pursues their heart. The only way we can show this kind of love is because we have the perfect example in Christ and He has given us the ability to love this way!
