Joyful, Joyful

Has it really been six months! Well technically we are a couple weeks short of that but close enough. Tsihon Evangeline is doing well. She is growing in every area and we are blessed and grateful for God's faithfulness in her time with us thus far. She is bright, funny, smart, passionate, caring, helpful, kind, generous and inquisitive. She is VERY strong-willed and independent which I believe stems from her time of having to be that way in order to survive. When you are dependent upon at the ripe old age of 5 to help provide for your family, independence and a strong will are bound to develop. We are still working on that continual battle of we are the parents and you no longer have to worry about taking care of yourself. We see her try to be the parent in every aspect, including parenting our youngest. I have to confess, that grates on my nerves most of the time. I have to remind myself why she takes over and pray for the grace to respond kindly and graciously. I fail more than not. Sorry is my new favorite word in the vocabulary. Parenting two has truly brought me to my knees in acknowledgement of my humanity. It has also revealed God's ALL encompassing grace. I think almost every adoptive parent will tell you the same thing. Overall though, Evangeline has not really struggled and compared to what I was preparing for, I am amazed. Do we see grief, absolutely. There are days that you can tell she hurts and misses her family. You can see it in her big beautiful brown eyes that she aches inside. She is a quiet griever. God has given me the eyes to begin seeing those moments of quiet. What do you say to this precious child? Like I could ever understand.  I try and assure her that it is okay to miss your family and your culture, that ideally she would still be in Ethiopia and with her family. I tell her that I hurt for her. I cannot begin to fathom what it would be like to be stripped from everything you know and forced to live in another culture and with a family that does not look like you and does not hold your past. I imagine it would be incredibly difficult and painful to have to learn new customs in order to function successfully in this new world you have entered. No, it is not ideal. I love supporting ministries that bring together widows and orphans. I also love ministries that work with mothers in order to help them provide for themselves and their children so they NEVER have to relinquish their children due to poverty. However, until there is enough support to go around there is a need for families willing to love these kids as their own. So I gently remind her that life is not as it should be. It hurts. It is painful. I then tell her that their is an abundant hope. Our hope in Jesus. As we come upon the Easter season and are reflecting on what Christ did on the cross while we wait to celebrate the day that He rose and conquered ALL, I remind her of the hope we have every day. Christ came, He died for you and for me but here is the best news of all, He did not remain in the grave! NO! He conquered death and is ALIVE! Our faith hinges on the fact that Christ rose again. Our power and salvation rests in the fact that Christ conquered it all. There will be a day when the pain and hurting will end and everything will return to how it should have been, in completeness with our Lord. So, today I remind her that things might hurt and the tears will fall but know that you have not been left alone and you are fiercely loved and have a purpose that extends far greater than you can even imagine. You are precious and God has a plan even in the hurting. You are precious to us as well and we are so grateful for the gift of you! God is faithful and good.

As I have prayed that my children would see the love the Lord has for them and their need for that love and grace, I have seen true joy in the heart of Evangeline. A kind of joy that is supernatural. On many occasions I have had strangers walk up to me and say that E is oozing joy. They have told me that she is like sunshine on a dark day and in Washington that occurs often. :) They have wondered how a girl that has experienced so much has the determination and strength that she has. I have wondered the same thing and have wondered if she does have a love for Jesus in her heart and a desire for His purpose and will in her life. She has learned enough English now so I thought I would ask her if she has accepted Jesus into her heart. Her answer was simple. YES mama!! Oh Yes!! I know that I mess up , I know He died for me! He will heal my hurts! He will make me new! Yes baby girl He will. I know because I have seen it in my life. I wanted to make sure that she understood grace. So I asked her if she thought she could make God love her. Again, she answered simply, no. He just loves me, right? Yes my dear He does even in our junk. I know there is a joy there that comes from knowing our Lord. I see Him ever so present in her life. Is she still a kid?? YES!! We are still trying to figure out how to best discipline her but it brings my heart great joy to know that she loves the One who loves her the most.

Things are getting crazy! Pete will be leaving in a month and we will be moving to Kansas City, MO in a couple of weeks. So the days run together and the girls are running wild most of the time but we are trying to embrace the moments and find the thankful. Again, I am failing most of the time but it is allowing me to see the abundant grace in my own life. Is this my life?? It really is rewarding running hard after Jesus. It will be interesting to see what God has around the corner. I can face another day because He goes before me.